College is a great time to learn and grow as a person. Unfortunately, after 4+ years and thousands of dollars in tuition, I've retained very little academic information. Aside from LIFO, FIFO, and Pacinian corpuscles (a really random term I remember from human biology), I retained jack shit. This poses the question then: if I retained no academic information, what did I actually learn in college??

-You can download music for free! Illegally of course. As soon as one site would shut down, another would emerge. (Ahh, Kazaa and Bearshare. How I miss you.) Hey, you've got to keep your party mixes up to date!

-Duct tape solves everything. Your shoe is falling apart? Tape it up! You were drunk and punched a hole in the wall? Throw some duct tape over it! Just like new! Duct tape was also very, forgive the pun, handy when it came to Edward 40 Hands.

-$5 can get you drunk...IF you don't mind how early you have to go to the party, how disgusting the basement is, and how crappy the beer is. Hitting the cafeteria at 4:00 to make the house party by 5:00? Keystone Light? Yep.
-Toppers and Taco Johns can be considered their own food groups. There's no such thing as too many potato oles or cheesy sticks with Ranch. (Forget about the marinara and nacho cheese. It's all about the Ranch.)

-The temperature aint nothing but a number. It's 20 below right now? Who cares! You have bars to attend! In your slutty top...with no sweater over it. Water St. waits for no one ladies.

Can anyone think of other great "life lessons" learned in college?